Habanera...kindergarten style.

Today I was in the living room and I hear strains of "Habanera" coming from the family room. Kat was "meeping" out Habanera while making crafts.
The girl is so stinking cute!

Say that again?

Ms. J, Drew's speech therapist, told me today that Drew was just about ready to "graduate" from therapy. On one hand, I am thrilled. One less thing to do a week. One less thing to worry about. One the other hand, what if he still needs help? What if he graduates and then starts to falter and we don't notice and then he spends the rest of his life talking about going to the "liberry?"
I need to focus on the positive and enjoy the fact that Drew is growing and learning and that I will soon have one less place to drive to each week. I need to not focus on the idea that my safety net is now weaker...

Imaginary play.

Drew is currently playing with Tianna and Toya. They're having a grand old time and I am enjoying listening to him talk to them.
I love my son's imaginary friends.

Montessori Parent/Teacher Conference.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending Kat's Parent/Teacher Conference for Montessori school. No surprises there. Kat is a pleasure to have in class. Kat is engaged. Kat is learning. Kat nurtures others. Kat cares.

Her teacher Mrs. T mentioned that she feels intimidated to send home books for Kat because I am a librarian and I know more about children's literature. Pish! I was able to reassure her that we don't care what Kat reads, as long as she is enjoying herself. I have a list of books I want both Kat and Drew to read before they hit middle school but we can do that on our own time, no need to worry about that!

I was also able to address the homework problem. Kat has too much homework each week. Kat doesn't need homework. Kat is 5 and reads on a third grade level and does second grade math and is a good citizen. Kat needs to play after school. Mrs. T agreed with me and we made the decision that if she noticed Kat struggling to grasp any concept that she would let us know right away and that we'd work with her at home.

It was a nice conference where I didn't learn anything new about Kat just some reinforcement that Kat is well liked and doing fine.

All about Drew.

I realize this blog has been Kat-heavy. Kat is kind of larger than life. She demands, she commands. Kat is just...Kat.

Now Drew, on the other hand, Drew is more of a sleeper. He's mellow and quiet and deep. He doesn't ask for much. He wants his toy cars, a quiet place to play, and sugar to eat. It's easy to focus all of my "worry" attention on Kat and to just quietly enjoy Drew without talking about it too much. Drew is a great kid. He's funny and silly and shy and loving. There is no one like him in this whole world.

When Drew was born he was diagnosed with complete hearing loss in his left ear. We took him to an ENT about a month after his first hearing test in the hospital to have a more extensive test done. I was certain CERTAIN the ENT was going to say that Drew had fluid in his ear at birth and he was fine now. Nope, he was definitely deaf in his left ear. The first ENT we went to was lacking in bedside manner. He told us the news of Drew's hearing with one foot out the exam room door and a hand on his cell phone. We had questions but we needed a minute to form them. We ended up following him down the hall trying to ask. The ENT simply told us to return in 6 months.

I wasn't happy with that so I called over to the University hospital in the next town and found an AuD to test Drew. The AuD was incredible. He was kind and cooperative. He answered questions we didn't know that we had. He led to us our current ENT, a fact for which we will be forever grateful for. Our current ENT was the first person who said that Drew's hearing loss might be a byproduct of Cytomegalovirus. Three doctors later Drew was diagnosed with CMV. The neurologist who saw us after the diagnosis told us not to expect Drew to walk or talk. At this point Drew was 9 months old and I had a pretty good handle on him. I kept saying that I think he is going to be fine. I think he is going to be fine. I was told that I was in denial and that I was going to have to accept that Drew would never be typical.

Well, he isn't typical. That's for sure.

Drew is a bright little boy. He's obsessed with numbers and is starting to read. He has an imaginary friend named Tianna who drives a red car and goes way too fast and is always getting into scrapes that involve tow trucks. Tianna is 5 and a half and has a sister named Toya.

Drew goes to preschool and loves it. We opted to send him to public school preschool for two days a week instead of 5 day a week Montessori like we did for Kat at the same age because Drew is a homebody. He's thriving in his little school, making friends and having lots of fun.

Drew is easy to love.

"Kat is perfect."

Yesterday we had our first official parent/teacher conference and I was really worried about it knowing how our last one had crashed and burned. This conference was completely different. The teacher was receptive to our thoughts, she was full of praise for Kat, the entire atmosphere of the room was positive.

Ms. M said that "Kat is perfect." She is the student that Ms. M can always count on to do the right thing. She is the student that Ms. M will call on when the principal enters the room because she can be sure that Kat will answer correctly and make her look good. (Sheesh but kind of funny.) She again recommended that we send Kat to the area GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) school for testing. We spoke about Kat's report card that came home earlier this week and how it couldn't have been better. It literally could not have been better, there was not one place for improvement.

She also asked us some bizarre questions. "Where does Kat do her homework?" At the kitchen table. "Does Kat sleep well at night?" No, but she goes to bed at 7:30 each and every night.
We requested that Kat be paired up with an upper elementary student for one on one reading sessions a few times each week. Surprisingly, Ms. M was very receptive to this idea.

Ms. M also commented on Kat's appearance, saying she is too cute with her red hair and that most of the teachers at the school joke about wanting to take her home with them. (Odd but sweet.)

I kind of wonder if at the first conference Ms. M was unprepared and that she really hadn't gotten to know Kat yet and just thought we were typical adoring parents who thought their child was the most wonderful/smartest creature on earth when actually their child was a typically developing kindergartner who would be best served in a mainstream class. At this second conference Ms. M couldn't say enough nice things about Kat. She commented that our daughter is gifted and agreed that she does need differentiated instruction.

I vacillate between thinking Kat needs to be taught at her level in school most of the time even thought that means that Ms. M would have to do a lot more work to make that happen and between thinking that as long as Kat is happy and not complaining that we should just go with the flow. I worry that she will learn bad habits if her schoolwork is consistently too easy. Hopefully the GATE testing will give us some real answers on what the best course of action is.

I am glad the conference went well and I am glad it is over.

First ever report card.

Kat got her first report card yesterday. She was graded on reading, math, behavior, art, and gym. It was a Stepford style report card. She got the highest possible score on every item she was graded on. This is what the school district says her grades evaluate as:

High achievement of grade level objectives: Consistently applies concepts and/or skills to meet grade level expectations. Students achieving at this level demonstrate superior academic performance, competency of subject matter knowledge and application of this knowledge to real-world situations. These students: Can extend their understanding by making meaningful, multiple connections among important ideas of concepts and provide supporting evidence for inferences and justification of solutions. Apply concepts and skills to solve problems using appropriate strategies.

Now, don't get me wrong. We are incredibly proud. Our daughter has done wonderfully these past 2.5 months of school. However, this begs the question.

What has she actually learned?

She has come home with stars on all of her assignments, but she hasn't mentioned a single thing that was tricky or fun or interesting. She does mention the singing and dancing they do each day and we couldn't be happier about that. Singing and dancing are beautiful, age appropriate activities. More, please!

I am worried that Kat is going to learn a poor work ethic. If school is this easy, what is going to happen to her when something challenging arises. Is she going to give up? Is she going to coast until graduation?

Tomorrow is our official parent teacher conference and we plan to ask for Kat to be paired up with a high achieving fourth grader (as high as our school goes) for enrichment. I am even willing to provide the enrichment so the teacher doesn't have to.

Who would have thought that having a smart child would be so worrisome?

Freedom.

Yesterday, Kat's school had a fundraiser at Chuck E Cheese. When you walk in the door at Chuck E Cheese your hand is stamped in ink that glows under a black light. No one gets out unless the entire groups numbers match. Our family all had the number 909 last night.
So, once we got in to Chuck E Cheese I allowed my children to play freely. They went this way and that way. They had a great time while I was busy chairing the event, selling raffle tickets, and talking with other parents.
Through the course of the evening I noticed a couple of parents horrified with me for allowing my children to have so much freedom. While I can kind of appreciate their points. Yes, it is a room filled with strangers. Yes, any number of bad, bad things could happen. Yes, they might get hurt/lost/scared. I also want to make my own points. It is a room filled with parents. I might not know all of them but I know that I am not going to just walk past a crying child and leave them to fend for themselves whether I know that child or not. I want my children to feel capable of making their own choices and providing safe places to explore on their own is an important step in that growth.
All's well that ends well. My children had a fabulous time, I got my fundraising work done, we all came home safe and happy. Another score for free range parenting.

STEM-girl.

Today I took Kat to a genetics laboratory at the local University. A gal I went to high school with is now "Dr. A Gal I Went to High School With" and runs a lab in the natural sciences department. I thought it would be a great experience for Kat to see a woman running a lab and it was.
Kat learned about microscopes and using CO2 as a sleep agent for fruit flies. She was taught to identify male and female fruit flies and their body parts. It was fabulous!
Dr. A Gal I Went to High School With did a great job at speaking with Kat at an appropriate level and Kat was able to answer her questions impressively.
We will definitely have to plan more laboratory field trips soon!

Taco night at Suburban Rebellion.

It occurred to me last week that I want to teach Kat how to cook and clean. I also want to teach these things to Drew but he still has some time before we need to think about that.
I asked on Facebook for my friends experiences, when did they start to allow their children to work on the stove? One gal did at 3, another not yet at 7. It all came down to knowing if my little girl was ready or not. Happily, I think she is.
So yesterday I allowed her to cook dinner from start to finish. We had tacos. She had to put the cheese in a bowl, she had to chop lettuce with a sharp knife, she had to brown ground beef and add water and seasoning. She had to stir carefully, she had to watch out for her hands on the hot stove, she had to put everything on the table.
They were the best. tacos. ever.

Falling hard.

I am delighted to report that Kat is the worst one in her class at ice skating. She is terrible at it! The other children literally skate circles around her but she loves every minute of it. She begs me to sign her up for the next session. Her brother wants to skate as well.
I think it is wonderful because she has always been one of those people that things come easily for. We got her a piano, she started playing. We gave her books, she taught herself to read. We take her to the park, she comes home with new friends. So now she is learning how to do something poorly but with grace.
I am always so proud when I see her on the ice. She falls, she stumbles, she doesn't glide but she is smiling the entire time. It's gorgeous!

Sad news, bad news.

When Kat was a baby, I worked full-time. She used to go to daycare for two full and two partial days each week. Before she was born I went to every daycare in town. I toured, I listened, I interviewed, I watched. The ones I looked at were all basically the same. Two women in a brightly colored room filled with toys and babies. A minimum of chaos at each one.
We ended up picking the one that had a moderate price and was central to home and work. Kat was there for 15 months. It worked well for us, we liked her teachers, she was always happy when we picked her up or popped in unexpectedly to check in on her. She got bit twice but that is bound to happen when you get teething toddlers in the same space.
We dis-enrolled her when we found a small, home daycare run by a housewife. She pretty much only took care of Kat (and later on Drew) each day. I liked that they were in a home setting, that the activities included folding clothes and making dinner. It was natural and normal.
Later on Kat went to Montessori school and the grandparents started taking care of Drew while I was at work.
Then the other day I opened up the local newspaper and saw Kat's first daycare provider there. She'd been convicted that day of second degree murder and child abuse. This woman was "slow" but patient and kind. She loved the children in Kat's room, she did her job well. But, she found herself pregnant and unwed and couldn't bring herself to shame her old world parents with her pregnancy. The baby was born in her bedroom and she smothered her within minutes of her birth.
She's currently in jail awaiting her sentencing which may go up to life in prison. Such a sad thing, such a waste of two lives. If only this woman had reached out to anyone at work, they would have helped her.
This is a tragedy.

Train wreck.

Yesterday, Peter and I met with Kat's public school kindergarten teacher. From the moment we got there this woman stonewalled us. She had nothing to say about Kat, nice or otherwise. She treated us like overbearing, obsessive parents.
It. was. horrible.
We all sat down at a tiny table in tiny chairs and the teacher asked us why we were there. I said we just wanted to check in with her to see how Kat was doing in school. She gave us a short answer that was basically saying "fine." I told her that Kat had been grumbling about the schoolwork and we wanted to touch base with her to make sure we were doing the right things for her. She then told us that kindergarten is kindergarten is kindergarten. There will be no deviation from her lesson plans. She really wanted to convince us that the lessons plans were set in stone, sent down from above and that was ALL she was allowed to teach. Not good.
So we asked what we can do to make sure that Kat will have a positive kindergarten experience. She told us to read to her. Then she asked what we were doing to make sure that Kat was learning.
She gave us a chance to talk about Kat, which I saw as placating us. Let's give the crazy parents a moment to wax poetic about their darling offspring so they'll leave happy.
She did say that we need to nominate our daughterfor the gifted program and that she does belong there. She told us all of the wonderful things that go on in that program but the gist is she is not going to do a thing outside of her lesson plans so we need to wait until next year.
She also implied that maybe we are pressuring Kat too much which made me angry since I truly believe we are following her lead. She said she thought we were a bit hasty in coming to see her since it was only the 4th week of school.
It sounds like Kat is going to have to wait a year because this teacher is set in her ways.
On the bright side, we did manage to convey all of our points. We know Kat is one of many, we know she (the teacher) is busy, Kat deserves to learn each day, we want to help, we want to be a part of making Kat's school experience positive, we want to do all we can for her. She asked us where Kat was in reading and I was able to tell her in the Fountas and Pinnel-speak that our school system uses.
DH says that now we just wait until conferences in November and see what happens between now and then.

Going to bat.

Kat is in kindergarten this year. Two separate kindergartens to be precise. In the mornings she goes to a lovely Montessori school. They meet her where she is at, they allow her to be a 5 year old girl with 5 year old feelings, they genuinely love my daughter.
In the afternoons she goes to public school kindergarten. They teach her things she mastered over two years ago, they teach her to toe the line, and they let her play outside at recess.
Kat started complaining after the first week of school that her public school teacher is like a preschool teacher and that she knows the material already. We encouraged her to write a letter to her teacher to tell her what she wanted to do at school the next day. The letter was met with a reprimand, "We do not chase people at school." (The letter was about playing tag at recess.) We encouraged Kat to read to her teacher, to wait until the other children were busy and the teacher was at her desk alone and offer to read her a book. Kat says she approached her teacher and said, "I can read." The teacher replied, "Okay." and that was the end of the conversation.
Her public school teacher does not seem interested in what Kat knows. We realize that this teacher has 24 other students to get up to grade level and our play by the rules girl is very easy to overlook.
So today we meet with the teacher. We decided to take it slowly, to just go and feel the teacher out a bit. To ask what she's done in the past with students like our daughter and to maybe show this teacher some of the work our daughter has done in the past. This is uncharted territory for Peter and I, we've never had to advocate for her before and it is kind of scary!

A day in the life.

My day started with my husband kissing me goodbye before the sun was even up, then later on being woken by my 5 year old wanting to talk about the fairies that were (undoubtedly) in her room last night and eating some cereal...in that order.
Both children and I were up, fed, dressed and out the door before 8:30 to start our whirlwind day. First was drop off at Montessori for Kat, then straight over to 3 year old preschool for Drew. After drop off was complete and both children were ensconced in their places of learning I ran up to the coffee shop to meet with another mother about fundraising for the Montessori. I spent 40 precious minutes discussing what to do, how to do it and how to make everyone at the school own it before running home to do some cleaning. I had exactly 63 minutes to myself at home before I needed to run up to get Drew from school.
At Drew's school I ran into a friend and did some chitchat while waiting for the teacher to open the doors. The doors opened, I waited 2 minutes to hear the "what we did at school today" spiel then grabbed Drew to sprint to the car. Once in the car we zipped over the 3 miles to get Kat. Waited in the car line, got her in the car and zipped home to have lunch. After lunch there was about 20 minutes to play before taking Kat to public school for kindergarten and then to speech therapy for Drew. A half hour of speech for Drew, back home again for 35 minutes then it was time to greet the days babysitter and run off to work.
I have two children who attend four different schools. I know that I am doing what's best for them individually but I am unsure of where my needs fit into this picture. We've been running this schedule for 3 weeks now and both children are as happy as clams. Mommy, on the other hand, is not handling it so well. I am tired. I feel constantly rushed but am desperately trying to hide it because I don't want my children to feel like they are living a rushed life. I have dreams about forgetting important things almost every night.
Will this become commonplace to me soon? Will I get used to running like this? Since I know without a doubt I am doing the right things for them, at what point should I stop because it isn't turning out to be the right thing for me?

Back in the blogging saddle.

Once upon a time I was a regular blogger, rarely a day went by that I didn't write something. Then my children got older and my daughter learned how to read. It just didn't feel right blogging about someone who could read what I was writing. Especially since my blog was listed under my real name and I didn't keep my children's identities private.
So welcome to my new, more discrete blog! I plan to chronicle the adventures of my suburban life here and hopefully entertain you a bit along the way.
I'm Suzy, mother to Kat and Drew. Wife to Peter.